Choleric Psychopaths Narcissists: 5 Tricks For Dealing With Bad Bosses


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Text comes from: Der Arsch geht auch vorbei: Wie Sie sich gegen schlechte Chefs und andere Zumutungen des Arbeitsalltags wehren können (2018), Keinen Bock mehr? Mehr Spaß und Motivation im Management (2012), Der freche Vogel fängt den Wurm: 7 überraschende Führungsprinzipien für mutige Manager (2010), 11 Managementsünden, die Sie vermeiden sollten: Wie Führungskräfte sich um Karriere, Verstand, Ehepartner und Spaß bringen (2009) from Klaus Schuster, published by Münchener Verlagsgruppe (MVG), Reprints by friendly permission of the publisher.
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Lots of people suffer from bad bosses, narcissists, and psychopaths. But the good news is: You can do something about people like that - even if they seem to be doing more.

Choleric Psychopaths Narcissists: 5 Tricks For Dealing With Bad Bosses

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Klaus Schuster is a manager, management consultant, executive coach and management trainer.

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Weak bosses - why does nothing happen?

When I leaked which book I was currently working on during my excursions in the practice, I was filled with stories of suffering. An incredible number of people suffer from boss monsters. Most of them not only whine and gossip about the boss behind his back, but undertake something. Surprisingly often with an anonymous letter to the management. I advise against it. Chef Hack 7: Don't Write Anonymous Letters! Unfortunately, that usually backfires. Which is logical: If the management was any good, they would have put their monster boss on a leash a long time ago. But it doesn't have: asses sit over the ass too. The company is largely arschified and should actually be put into quarantine by the Federal Health Office.

This broadband management infection explains why many executives do nothing about their weak bosses even when anonymous incendiary letters arrive. For example, to single out one case, there is a fire letter from a corporate division that reveals grievances that would not even go through under martial law. A division manager in this group does management by bullying and constantly yells at everything and everyone at the volume of a continuously firing self-propelled howitzer, terrorizes employees and even yells at pregnant colleagues so that they call in sick. So the employees send off a letter that contains thirty-four examples of verbal abuse and harassment on seventeen pages that make any decent person blush.

1. Do not write anonymous letters!

What does the management do? She doesn't put an end to the grievances. She doesn't even invite the boss, who is a disgrace to all bosses, to the curtain sermon. No, she sends him the anonymous letter with the succinct remark: “What's going on with you? Get your business back on track as soon as possible! ”He does. On the basis of the grievances described in detail in the letter, he can easily identify the victims of his abuse despite anonymization - and fires them. In addition to the abuse, there is also dismissal. Ergo: anonymity is no protection. In an arschified company (office, ministry, association ...), anonymity only protects one person: the perpetrator and the perpetrator. As bad as this case is - and it's not the only one: the survivors have learned something from it.

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You no longer write anonymous letters. If the boss roars at a victim again and drives them into a corner, two or three colleagues pull the fire on them. You distract the boss. Just by saying something. That is enough. Then the boss still yells, but then his tirade is spread over several colleagues. This is easier for everyone to bear. The victim realizes: I am not alone! The others stand by me! Solidarity does not prevent the rabid dog from being bitten, but it has a therapeutic effect: the wound heals faster and no longer hurts as much.

2. Unite to rebel against chief cholerics

This hack requires a bit of courage at the beginning, but then gives a better feeling: If the boss picks one of you - jump him / her right away! Not by defending him / her. This upsets cholerics even more. Rather, by factually taking part in the "discussion". The more do this, the less alone the victim is - and the faster the choleric loses pleasure in his attacks.

In such a case one could of course discuss the role of the works council. But honestly: what reasonable person could reproach the works council here? He's afraid of the mad berserk himself and doesn't want to make himself the target of his outbursts of anger. Sure: the works council could sue. But the lawyers are in doubt: can bosses be prosecuted for mental cruelty? As long as the lawyers cannot make a watertight charge out of it, the works council prefers to keep its hands off it. In addition, there are now conditions in this company like the Mafia: No victim dares to testify against the boss monsters. Not even in court, not even under witness protection, because the bosses are more powerful than lawyers, the police and the courts. This is not the end of the world. There are other means. We know one of them from trauma therapy: breaking off contact.

3. Get out of the situation!

If the boss becomes abusive, personally insulting or even violent: Leave the room immediately without a word and without eye contact! Since the company's organizational psychologist leaked this recipe and explained its use to the victims, many in the branch have been practicing it.

As soon as the professional scholeric starts shouting again, they leave the room: break off contact. Many initially feared: "But then he'll get even angrier and persecute me!" The psychologist knew: No, he doesn't. Because a choleric attack is an act of affect. When the affect is interrupted, the action is interrupted - in most cases. At least more often than if you let it go. This is why breaking off contact protects the victims and acts as a separator for the perpetrators, as a pattern breaker. It is also advisable to take refuge in a group of colleagues: Choleric people prefer to romp around in private. Once they are in the minority, common sense tends to come back into play. This recipe doesn't always work. But much more often than being defenseless, baseless, inappropriately and disproportionately yelled at.

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4. The cold return delegation: Go to your "safe place"!

Many people practice breaking contact internally. As soon as the boss yells around, they mentally switch to draft and go to their "safe place" in their imagination. So to that imaginary place to which you always go in your thoughts when reality becomes too impudent. The "safe place" always works reliably if you put it on calmly before the next stressful situation, shape it and train the journey there two dozen times. Then you will be safe here when thunderstorm breaks out - my word for it. Internal security is purely a question of training.

Everyone knows this type of delegation. The catch is: those who know and practice them are usually not those who need them most. Anyone who does not know what to do before work and is then harassed by the supervisor seldom thinks about how he or she could degrade the boss to their own clerk, so to speak.

Strictly speaking, the cold return delegation is an informal but extremely effective change notice for a while. You fire your boss and at the same time hire him as your clerk on a temporary basis. Sabine does it. Although she is completely overworked and has only been coming out of the office at seven in the evening (her husband then puts the little ones to bed), the boss gives her a task that easily requires another ten hours a week for the next three months - which she doesn't have. Fortunately, it is quite a technical task: Sabine's boss is an engineer and has a weakness for everything technical. So what is Sabine doing?

5. Let the boss work for you!

Don't be sorry that you are completely overwhelmed: no boss wants to hear that. Better to act stupid and keep asking questions about trivial details until the boss does the work for you. It works for 10 to 20 percent of the tasks. Don't use this hack more than that 20 percent so the boss doesn't actually think you're stupid. Sabine pretends to be shaky. She goes to the boss two or three times and "seeks advice" on things that she knows and can do well herself. At some point the boss jumps on it and says: »You just can't get it baked! Give it to me and I'll do it myself! ”Which was the aim of the exercise. The boss hired himself as a clerk; as a clerk by and for Sabine.

But you don't want to be seen as "bumbling"? Sabine doesn't either. That's why she says: “He sees that I'm capable of something with all other tasks. And they are clearly in the majority. ”She does not always use the method of delegation back. Only when it is necessary. Give the boss what he wants! A particularly elegant way of disempowering the boss is: If he wants something stupid from - give it to him!

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