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Best of HR – Berufebilder.de®Dr. Cornelia Topf is a certified business coach and international management trainer with support for over twenty years Cornelia Topf as an international management trainer and certified business coach, well-known companies of all sizes and industries. Her main focus is on target-oriented communication and success-oriented body language. The promotion of women is particularly important to the doctor of economics. The managing director of "metatalk Kommunikation und Training" in Augsburg is the author of many specialist books and guides that have been translated into numerous languages. These include titles such as “Self-coaching for women”, “Negotiating successfully for women”, “Assertiveness for women”, “The guide book for cheeky women” or “Defusing presentation torpedoes”. Cornelia Topf is also a sought-after expert in the media. More information at www.metatalk-training.de All texts from Dr. Cornelia Topf.

Change perspective & rethink your head: headstand with clapping your feet

It does not work or not easy enough? The work, the task is no fun anymore? Then hang in! Work harder? Better: work smarter. For example with a change of perspective: Change the perspective and everything becomes easier.

headstand

The Perspective Collier

I mow my lawn and the neighbor complains about the noise from my - electric mower! Does my neighbor have a "wheel off"? I sit in a meeting, make a great suggestion and the colleague says: “Our budget doesn't cover that.” But do we always have money for her mediocre ideas?

My job is eating me up, it is also poorly paid, I urgently need to look for something better, but my relationship partner says: “Give up a secure job? Think about it carefully! ”With such a coward by my side, I will never find anything better! What do these three examples have in common? The fear of perspective.

That's how conflicts arise

In all three situations it comes to Konflikt, there is no progress, there is discussion instead of action, the necessary change does not take place, the project is idle, the deadlines are not kept, innovation does not take place, creativity is slowed down, the team climate suffers, there is no improvement, the relationship continues destroyed - because the other “has lost his way”, is “scaredy”, has “moderate ideas”? No, because that's my point of view. I don't know anyone else or I (unconsciously) don't allow them.

Otherwise, I would learn that neighbor's baby is finally naked behind the hedge for his summer afternoon snaps and a baby is naturally awakened by an electric motor. I know that the colleague yesterday spent a final damage on a machine damage and really no more money is there. And I would know that my relationship partner would not be frightened by me, but would just keep me from my spontaneous decisions.

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L'état, c'est moi!

“Usually” we are quite reasonable people; tolerant, open, let's talk to us. When under stress, the reptilian brain puts an end to this. As soon as the adrenaline rushesspiegel increases, we tend to confuse our point of view with factual reality - unconsciously. We no longer “know” that there are other perspectives. Even if we should come to the conclusion that things can also be viewed differently, we evaluate deviating points of view with thoughts / sayings like: “What is that supposed to mean? It shouldn't look like that! He sees it completely wrong. ”Perspective rigidity, euphemistically often called“ conservatism ”, is the death of any change. The change of perspective is the father, the driver, the facilitator of every change.

Of course, it is sensible to stick to one's own point of view: I want a snack because I'm hungry - and I do not let the hunger end! To stand for his own view of things gives guidance and security and brings ahead - until it does this no more until another is a different view in opposition to mine or no snack in the kitchens. It is then necessary to change, adapt and adapt the views to the changing circumstances. Can we do this? Do we want that?

Dead end? Change the perspective!

In every conflict, crisis, problem or negotiation situation, with every task and challenge, I can practice “Try harder!”, Go into conflict, work harder, argue more sharply. Unfortunately, my counterpart does this because of him Spiegelneurons mostly instinctively too. It comes to an escalation and we land in a stalemate. Many people know the saying: "Don't try harder, but smarter!"

But what does “smart” mean? For example: When things stop going (like this), when it gets too strenuous, when it is no longer fun, when things are going too slowly - don't try harder, but change your perspective! Change your own, gain a new perspective! Turn yourself, the matter and your previous point of view upside down, so to speak, and clap your feet - if it helps, why not! Try alternative, optional, unthought-of perspectives like shoes in a shoe store: until it fits! Until it fits better. So how do you gain new perspectives?

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