Deliberately suppress feelings?
On the one hand, we suppress certain movements; on the other hand, we consciously promote muscle movements, the effect of which seems to us to be positive - a typical example is the smile - always and everywhere.
What we overlook: Our speech is guided by our speech center in the brain, which is located in the right hemisphere. This brain part is, in simple terms, responsible for all logical-analytic contexts.
Body language from the belly
In contrast, the body language arises, so to speak, "from the belly", as a stimulus-response language without a logical structure. Therefore, it can not be influenced by grammatical rules and legal writing reforms.
Everyone has their own and diverse expressive possibilities, which we often try to change. Instead of cultivating these with the most international of all languages, we try to suppress, alter and manipulate them.
Use body language more successfully?
Many participants in rhetoric seminars want to learn to use their body language more successfully. Typical "loser signals" should disappear and replace them with the superior language of the victors. The competition is tough and every advantage is right.
Not only top executives and politicians have recognized this trend - no life situation is spared from "tips to correct body language".
The body can only be manipulated to a limited extent
Sometimes, however, the shot goes backwards. Despite all the great efforts, the body plays a trick on us. It can only be manipulated to a limited extent. Feelings can not be completely suppressed, even if they do not fit into the image. They come to the surface exactly when they are least likely to penetrate the outside.
We always compare this in our seminars with a huge water ball, which can be kept under the water surface even with effort. Woe, if he gets us out and comes out uncontrollably!
Training can help
Granted, with some training, some parts of our body can be "mastered" pretty well. Especially our face, it is also very close to the "control center brain"! It becomes more difficult the farther away from the "command point" body language takes place.
Especially our legs, we often have not quite under control. For political discussions on television, the tables are therefore usually even covered down. The picture more convincing sovereignty should not be clouded!
The legs in the handle?
A look at the feet and legs of the persons involved is very informative:
- If the spokesman is not quite so serious with the desired pension reform - the restless rocking back and forth of the legs suggests this.
- Or he fears massive resistance, because he suddenly raises his toe aggressively in the direction of conversation opponents?
What does it matter to analyze body language?
The recognition and use of such contradictions in the course of the conversation is the content of many trainings. Any possible movement of a potential opponent is analyzed, dissected and examined for inconsistency. Thus, attempts are made to expose every lie so small.
We forget, however, that only the overall picture of all the utterances of the other person's body makes a conclusion possible. The more heated a conversation, a discussion or a negotiation, the more difficult we are in the conscious translation of body language. It is just a language of the subconscious mind and is beyond our conscious access.
All manipulation attempts of our non-verbal language create a certain image in the receiver of our message: "There is one who wants to hide something. He tries to fool me with his hands and feet! "
If perfection makes you suspicious
This realization is not conscious, it is subconsciously processed as information and forms the foundation for the construction of a barrier to dialogue. We pull back, be careful.
All the perfectly acting people in the media and at election events make us suspicious at some point because they lose their "authenticity". This is precisely the point that many public figures overlook today.
Politicians who depend on the electorate want to use all the means to present themselves favorably. A marketing-strategically defined body language must not be missing. But not everyone succeeds as well as Johann Strauss's son, who practiced his violin-playing in front of the mirror and in front of an imaginary public.
Not only did he find his personal note as a stand-up violinist, he also knew how to lead the orchestra almost exclusively through his rapid and far-reaching movements.
Man remains on the line
In all these efforts, the real man with all its corners, edges and emotions will fall by the wayside. In the place of convictions occur "winning signals". We all have very fine sensors when the language of the body does not fit the word language.
Like a badly dubbed movie, we either lose interest or we withdraw from the conversation.
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