Body language: this is how clothing helps


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Text comes from: Die Macht der versteckten Signale: Wortwahl - Körpersprache - Emotionen. Nonverbale Widerstände erkennen und überwinden (2014) by Dr. Gabriele Cerwinka, Gabriele Schranz, published by Linde Verlag, Reprints by friendly permission of the publisher.
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In the course of its development, humans have learned to use weapons and tools. Tools support the activity of the hands, they represent the “extension” of our body.

knight

Here writes for you:

 

Gabriele Schranz SchranzGabriele Schranz is a shareholder of Schranz and Cerwinka OEG; Vienna - Zurich.

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Here writes for you:

 

Dr. Gabriele Cerwinka cerwinkaDr. Gabriele Cerwinka is a shareholder of Schranz and Cerwinka OEG.

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Plays at the conference table

An insurance salesperson learns in his first sales training to always calculate the premium height before the customer's eyes. Documents which are not comprehensible are automatically defended by the customer. Only those who play with open cards have a convincing effect.

Another popular power play on the meeting table is the finning in foreign documents. Similar to the distance zone crossing, we perceive it as aggressive behavior when someone makes our documents to deal - whether friend or foe, whether Chef or negotiator.

We automatically try to defend our territory and deliberately adjust the documents. A conversation is quickly dominated by such territorial struggles, the factual arguments are increasingly declining. Defense battle instead of space gain!

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territorial recovery

The same is true of unconscious territorial extraction at the negotiating table: the one who considers himself particularly important, spreads his documents extensively.

It thus defines its sphere of influence and restricts the space of the other. He will be willing to make concessions as long as he has so clearly defined his fronts on the battlefield!

Clothing unconsciously sets signs

But not only objects serve to support the body language, even clothes and accessories unconsciously set characters:

Buttoned or shirt-sleeved - these adjectives refer not only to the style of clothing, but also to the way of communicating. Loosens the boss in the employee meeting the tie, he sets a sign: From now it's informal, calmly says, what you have on your mind!

Narrow or straight?

Both to correct, stiff clothes as well as to emphasized casual clothes act as a barrier in conversation.

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  • If you're behind tight, tight-fitting jackets, you can easily imagine narrow-mindedness.
  • Anyone who goes through life with casual, shapeless Schlabberhosen is probably missing the clear line, which is probably difficult to grasp.

The clothes should fit the role

Which clothing is considered suitable, just like the actual body language, depends on the common wavelength, according to the motto “Like and like likes to join”. With all tolerance in fashion questions, we like to look for our own reflection.

The expectation attitude plays a role. The young, up-and-coming employees should indeed appear in the business costume, but please not with a design piece, which appears nobler than that of the Seniorchefin!

Effective noise

Little children learn very soon how helpful the use of objects can be. The cooking spoon, hit on the table, produces much more efficient noise than your own little baby hand!

From such cherished insights, we are also reluctant to separate as adults. The boss does not emphasize his criticism though through the wooden spoon, this has been replaced in the meantime by an exquisite writing instrument, but the sound of metal on wood still sounds very convincing!

Like a knight with a spear

So we often supplement our body language with the use of objects, making these signs even clearer, as if we wanted to call out our words even louder.

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Anyone who uses a ballpoint pen or pencil to point out his arguments by pointing to a different one, looks like a medieval knight with his spear. When will he hurt his opponent with his arguments?

Files and other protective signs

Therefore, it is not surprising if the other is also armed for its protection. While a conversation partner always threatens to swing the Mängelliste, the other protects himself a few acts before the body.

Usually, the threat is not so clear, and yet a conversation partner is looking for an artificial barrier.

  • Anyone who keeps documents or documents in front of him is not open for conversation. The protective shield blocks the recording.
  • Elderly ladies clutching their handbag in front of the body, businessmen clutching their briefcases.
  • In the unpretentious and safe situation of the small talk we are still quite glad to at least keep a glass in front of our body. Looking for protection, we clasp it with both hands. It is only with difficulty that we can counter this defense and start an open conversation.
  • At the negotiating table, such weapons are often used deliberately. If you do not want to look into the cards, suddenly suddenly fold up your laptop. The other has no insight, he does not know what secret information is flickering across the screen, he is unsettled.
  • A negotiation in which everyone is entrenched behind his laptop or mobile phone has little chance of constructive results. Such a body language really says more than a thousand words!

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