Like a turtle
Anyone who wants to withdraw from a conversation, pulls his neck imperceptibly and shoulders up. The neck is made as short as possible to reduce the area of attack.
We are thereby blocking ourselves not only from attacks, but also from new, perhaps threatening, ideas. This attitude is also called the turtle conservation.
Move away unpleasant
If we want to push an unpleasant situation away from us, we often do so not only with hands and feet, but with the whole body.
The Chef in a conversation with his colleague, he holds his hands out in front of him and, with his toe tips raised, also straightens his legs forward and at the same time leans back as far as possible in his chair.
When the body signals defenses
The whole body signals defense, no matter what his words express: "This is a very interesting proposal, Mr. Meier!" - Poor Mr. Meier, his proposal will probably end up in the large filing, called garbage bin!
Our body has a whole series of threatening gestures that serve to intimidate, displace or protect the "conversation opponent."
The "furious" breast is a clear sign: Who fluffed up like a fowl, has no peaceful, harmonious conversation in mind.
John Wayne look
The classic gunslinger stands wide-legged, his hands ready at any time and already in "firing position" - outstretched thumb - near the belt, with a concentrated view and the setting sun in the back on the village street of "Showdown-City".
His whole body expresses the highest tension, always willing to attack. Every opponent interprets this body language signal correctly. But also without a holster in the halter, without dramatic background music and "John-Wayne-Look":
Ammunition of words and looks
We find this gesture again with one or the other conversation partner. The slightly angled arms with the pointed elbows pointing upwards and the more or less shooting hand on the side are threatening - even if the ammunition only consists of words and looks!
But not only are threats creating barriers in a conversation. Even gestures, openly displayed, often harm the harmony decisively.
Confident or arrogant?
If a participant leans back demonstratively in a team meeting and folds his arms behind his head, he seems at first glance relaxed, casual, confident.
But what does his gesture really say? He presents his vulnerable soft parts openly and without possibility of defense (his hands are "fixed" behind his head), yes, he provokes an attack.
Distance zones - everyone feels different
Whoever gives the other so clearly to understand that he neither fears nor takes his attack seriously, is already very sure of his cause. "Whatever your arguments now, mine is the best, my position as the winner is absolutely unassailable!"
People perceive physical closeness differently. One is already having a hard time with the general practice of greeting kisses, the other one can not get close enough to his fellow human beings.
Where do the differences come from?
These differences arise, on the one hand, from our different perceptions - depending on which are more pronounced: hearing, seeing or feeling - and, on the other hand, our experiences so far.
Our social distance starts at 1,50 meters and reaches up to about two meters. Here, we have all the places we meet in the professional world: employees, bosses, customers, salesmen, etc. A very tight space for so many people!
Social minimum distance
This minimum social distance can not always be met. Very often we also have to move wildly. Just think about the situation in the crowded subway, the crowded elevator, the dentist or the hairdresser.
Everywhere we feel the others up close. We defend ourselves unconsciously: sometimes with the simple turning to the side - also here our bone side is used again.
When proximity becomes unavoidable
We withdraw into ourselves, our body "ignores" the proximity, we try in such situations as possible to avoid a conversation.
At the dentist and the hairdresser, we can hardly turn aside, because we have to accept the crossing of the distance zone.
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