Arguments and conflicts at work: who is to blame
Again with the Manager or rattled his colleagues? Quick you have the other pushed the buck. But are the others always to blame when things are not going so well?
Bad working atmosphere, annoying colleagues, bad boss, tasks that are too boring or too stressful: There are many reasons why employees don't like their job. It is often the work circumstances that are to blame. Sometimes, however, the employee makes life difficult for himself with his attitude.
15 percent of working time for conflicts
Studies show that around 15 percent of working time in Germany is spent dealing with conflicts. Time that is better spent on productive work. But it's not always the fault of the dear colleagues or the lousy boss, sometimes it would be enough to just take a small step towards others.
It starts on a small scale. Quite a few employees get in the way of themselves by generalizing individual bad experiences: “The colleague is always so rude!” “The food in the canteen is always bad!” or "I made a mistake - I am completely incapable!" - These are sentences that many people probably think several times a day.
How you stand in your way
But instead of saying: "Well, the colleague who did not greet twice, has a bad day a few times", the generalization makes the colleague an unfriendly bitch. In this way, prejudices quickly become established in the mind: if, for example, you no longer notice the nice gestures of your always unfriendly colleague and firmly believe in what you talk yourself into doing in this way. Confrontations and disputes are pre-programmed, resulting in a lack of motivation and a bad mood.
In some people, this is usually a chronic one - and refers to the entire workplace: employees who are about to start working too hard after the recruitment, or the many new things they are supposed to learn. Or over long distances, high nervous stress, overtime or simply over stress. There are quite good bosses, who give even difficult employees a chance and for example, a longer consent phase. This does not help if the employees give themselves no chance
To circumvent such homemade problems is only to check your own expectations and to consider things a bit more differently. And with some practice, this can also succeed.
12 Tip for better quarreling
- No generalized vocabulary! Do words like “never” or “always” appear frequently in your vocabulary? Avoid such vocabulary in thinking and talking - the first step to a more differentiated perspective
- Consider each event individually: Just because the colleague did not greet you yesterday and today, she does not always have to do that. Maybe she was just stressed?
- Examine Expectations: Do not you expect a thing like that? Check if they do not already have prejudices.
- Change Settings: Some things you can not change. With a positive attitude to the matter, however, much is easier.
- Do not categorize: Especially when getting to know new people, we like to put them in drawers. Take a closer look and review your initial assessment, if necessary.
- Split problem into single problems: Often one sees one, because one generalizes, only a large problem mountain. Solve problems in small individual problems that will solve you step by step.
- To stay objective: In conflicts with the supervisor, it is particularly important to remain objective and objective, even if the boss does not meet the employee with the same professionalism.
- Patience and self-control: Emotions disturb judgment and provoke heated discussions. Employees should make a big difference.
- No know-it-alls! Of course, it's always easy to say that you can do it better yourself. Maybe the job requires the boss but much more than you perceive as an outsider.
- Understanding for the boss: Perhaps the boss has more to do than he can manage. Try to show understanding.
- Support the boss: Offer your help: Perhaps the boss has less experience in some areas and is grateful for help and support.
- To face the challenge: Employees should take every opportunity to prove that they are capable of coping with major challenges and taking responsibility. This gives pluses.
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German edition: ISBN 9783965961920
English version: ISBN 9783965961937 (Translation notice)
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