Reach goals and negative feedback - how it works
Have you set yourself a specific goal? Are you possibly already on the way there? Depending on how big or ambitious this goal is, you can expect that you will receive feedback on this goal from your fellow human beings. Some of the feedback may seem helpful, but others may not.
So how about if you make your way to your goal and prepare yourself internally from the start that a lot of the feedback from other people may not be positive? In other words, how do you deal with it when a large number of people nag about your ideas or goals?
Target pirates: When others hijack our target
Do you know the term for people who notoriously and persistently pester the goals of others? Target pirates!
Target pirates are people who - when we head for a target - cross our paths and hijack our targets.
Unfortunately, target pirates cannot be visually recognized. They don't have an eye patch, and they don't have a pirate hat. They do not fit into any color scheme, are not black or white or checkered (at most sometimes checkered).
How do target pirates act?
But you can recognize them by what they say. Because it is mostly feedback that comes in a costume of appreciation, but in reality is anything but appreciative.
Here some examples:
- “Thank you very much, that was an interesting, informative presentation. I would not have expected you to. ”
After the initial compliment, there is an obvious blow to the stomach.
- "You know, I was skeptical at first. But now I have to admit: Your presentation was actually a really good start. ”
This supposed compliment is especially bitter if you have been preparing for the presentation for days or weeks. Because your goal was probably not "a good start", but a really good presentation.
The truthfulness in the statements of target pirates
The comments from target pirates are sometimes simply negligent but sometimes also highly unsettling or even hurtful. They sound like facts, but actually contain the same reliable truth as the statement "Spinach contains a lot of iron". Because this statement is also a prime example of an error, which through constant repetition has become the supposed truth that even doctors believe (t).
The legend that spinach contains a lot of iron is older than many people think: As early as 1890, physiologist Gustav von Bunge correctly determined the iron content of spinach to be exactly 35 milligrams per 100 grams of spinach. The fact that his results were based on dried spinach and therefore cannot be transferred to frozen spinach or fresh spinach, and that the iron actually contained in spinach is not even digestible for humans, has long been ignored by the public. On the contrary, the legendary comic character Popeye, the sailor, was born in 1929 and gained his strength by eating countless cans of spinach. The following generations were left behind. How much spinach has landed on children's plates due to the high proportion of iron? Rather, it would have been correct to justify the advantages of vegetables with their vitamin, protein and mineral content to one's own offspring.
Dealing properly with target pirates: 6 tips
Another example from the section “Uninvited, inappropriate Criticism"
- "A really nice presentation, for a woman you have a good voice."
A comment on this is certainly unnecessary. But how do you handle target pirates properly?
1. Be alert to criticism
Be vigilant the next time you get feedback that may sound like positive feedback at first, but is actually far from appreciative. You may be dealing with a target pirate.
Don't always take feedback at face value, but question the origin and motivation of the feedback. How to track down potential target pirates.
2. Feedback: Please listen carefully
So listen carefully if someone is about to serve up supposed wisdom that is objectively none.
Is it perhaps a stubborn legend, like the fairy tale of spinach and iron?
3. What do the facts really look like?
It is also important when dealing with target pirates: look at the facts and decide for yourself. Of course, contact with target pirates cannot always be avoided. You will meet people again and again in life who tell you why your goal is supposedly not the right one, you cannot achieve it, or want to make you or something "mad" on the way to the goal.
However, be critical, especially if the person you are speaking to has demonstrably no experience in this area and their opinion is based on fake news similar to the legend of iron-containing spinach.
4. Have the facts changed?
However, not everything that was the day before yesterday or yesterday is still true today. The earth is no longer a disc for us and the spinach in Popeye's canned food contains less iron than believed.
So what may no longer apply, which the experts still tell today based on their experience? Which truth fluctuates or has even become irrelevant? And what does that do with your goals and your way there?
5. Avoid target pirates when possible
Target pirates sometimes act in a very hidden way, almost “undercover”, but many other times quite obviously. Think about when you can avoid target pirates and when you can't. Don't hit target pirates in the canteen at lunchtime unless you have to. Instead, eat strategically. Surround yourself with people who are good for you and who are kind to you.
And if you have a friend who is a notorious target pirate for over 20 years, you don't necessarily have to break the friendship. However, you should then restrict the target corridor for possible topics for discussion. Do not talk to him about goals, but about other topics: football, needlework, politics, literature, just things that suit you.
6. Find target supporters
Surround yourself with target supporters instead of target pirates. Meet people who have already achieved their goals. Read things from people who inspire you, who do you good.
But give target pirates on their journey to their destination, no longer a chance on their successful journey in the future.
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