To forgive means to let go
Conversely, if we do not forgive, we stay in touch. And that inhibits us in our feelings, thoughts and actions.
Does this sound categorical and perhaps incomprehensible at first? Let me explain.
Forgive in everyday life
Let us look at the situation in our everyday life: Do you also know that you are very annoying about driving errors of others and loudly cursing. Can you forgive the person?
If the forgiveness succeeds me, I continue afterwards much more relaxed and the event quickly disappeared from my head or my emotional life.
Make room for other things
And I can turn back to other and more important things. Otherwise I might come to work and rant about this brazen car driver.
I would then infect my environment with my negative thoughts and not be free for the challenges that lie ahead. Who does not know, hand on heart, similar situations with oneself?
The big challenge: forgive oneself
A real challenge, however, is to forgive oneself. Let us consider some aspects of the example of one of my clients named Constantine.
He has made a difference in his job and therefore expects, for example, an appreciation of his surroundings. Instead, he will be out of the Company away. What could Constantius forgive himself? The others were the ones ...
Way with expectation
Constantine could forgive himself that he had created a certain part of the ultimate confrontation, or had committed himself to it.
Perhaps this share was not very large, for example the expectation that his achievements would be appreciated. It is possible that this expectation pressure has made him unfair to be able to conduct his affairs properly and to take due account of the interests of the larger structure in which he was active.
Move the layers
The act of forgiveness itself, therefore, would be that Constantine is standing (understanding for himself), to have acted out of such an expectation. He could forgive himself.
Another aspect could be a shift of the argument from the material level to a level of right-to-be willingness. This too Constantine could forgive himself. It would thereby loosen the permanent inner connection to the many years past situation considerably, perhaps even can.
Forgiveness will not be idle
You might argue that the forgiveness makes us idle, makes us into the game of the others. But this is not meant in body. It's about something different. It's about reacting to situations that respond appropriately but are not driven by your anger or your hatred.
They are able to look at the situation from the position of the eagle hovering over it and to keep all the important factors in view. To react appropriately in a way that clarifies the situation, possibly solves it, and above all does not escalate further (unless you want it so). Positive developments in the future are most likely to be achieved in this way.
Forgiveness is one of the essential steps to get rid of people and / or situations.
In doing so, one forgives both the other person or group as well as himself. The latter is the greater challenge that our sovereignty demands - and promotes.
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