Instead of dominance and submission: the eye-level status
That is why I have developed the high-level status, in addition to the high and low status used in the improvisatory theater: Status status beyond dominance or submission.
Do you know people who seem to build relationships effortlessly? Who assert themselves without “trampling” on the other? These people, who have a kind of natural authority and are very pleasant conversation partners, strive for a status relationship that I call eye level status.
On the same wavelength
Think of a really good conversation with a friend: everyone alternately tells, you laugh together, is “on the same wavelength”, no one determines one another, neither has to submit, both feel good - that's the yardstick for a conversation at eye level. In other words, in every conversation that you will have from now on, pay attention to the extent to which this feeling arises.
Now, of course, you do not have the same cordial relationship to the best friend or best friend to each conversation partner. And yet the goal is to experience this quality in the best possible way - in the best possible situation and to the context in which you meet.
What is the status of the eye?
The following prerequisites apply for the application of eye level status:
- You know who you are, where you stand and what you want.
- They know in which status area you feel comfortable.
- They walk relaxed and relaxed with themselves and others.
- They have developed a flair for the situation and for what status behavior is currently appropriate.
- They show unconditional respect, both to yourself and to your conversation partner.
- You are carefree and of course with status - you feel like playing with the status without taking yourself too seriously.
- They understand the high status as a way to lead and the low status as a possibility to follow and are not afraid to use the whole status palette - high status and low status.
- You are ready, both the Guide to take over without overwhelming the other with dominance, as well as relax the other to leave the leadership, without completely submitting.
Keep the status differences as low as possible
In the case of communication on the level of the eye, it is important to keep the status difference to the conversation partner as low as possible so that alternating leads and sequences are possible at all.
Because the status of two people is never identical, there is always someone who leads - as in dance for two: one goes first, the other has to go back and then the other way around. And when this common “dance” really gets into the flow, the conversation is easy and the two partners agree.
Now it would be important to figure out how to use this type of communication for your self-assertion.
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