Guiding satire: The speech and the motto



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"Hannes manages" is a story series with subtle satire from and about the management floors in 10 parts. Part 1 is about how to get good news among people. Leadership Satire: The speech and the motto of leadership-management-leadership1

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Here writes for you: Stefan Häseli is an advisor for organizational development. Profile

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How do you announce a "good news"?

Overview

Hannes sits listlessly in front of the computer. Time is running out. As the CEO of an international industrial group, he must inform the workforce this afternoon about the company's awkward financial position.

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This not-really-joyful message surpasses the announcement that a large part of the production is moved to Asia.

Ladies and gentlemen…

Overview

"Ladies and gentlemen, I am standing in front of you today to inform you about a drastic measure," Hannes begins to type. "Kicking" - that sounds too much after "step on the chafe" - too dramatic. So more directly: "Ladies and Gentlemen" - this is probably something formal, distanced, Hannes shoots through his head. "Dear Colleagues". Exactly, that expresses esteem, that is so in the mission statement.

So: "Dear Colleagues, I inform you today about a drastic ..." - No, Hannes does not like that. "Incremental measure" sounds as if we would have to close the operation. We only shift where the markets are. Basically, we are getting closer to the customer. Exactly, we want "customer proximity". This does not sound like dismantling, but the construction of new distribution channels. Hannes gets going.

Positive sound

Overview

"Dear Colleagues. I am pleased to inform you about our new strategy for greater customer proximity. Approaching the distribution channels is the recipe, but also calls for victims. " No, "victim" does not work.

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Change projects are "opportunities". "We have a unique opportunity to better position ourselves in the market with our new orientation". Yes, that fits. It should sound positive. None of "healthy shrinking", that would mean that we are "sick-grown" before.

Even more good news

Overview

"Focus on the core business" - yes, that has to be done. "The reasons for these reorientations are mainly market influences from low-wage countries". "Market influences" - Hannes cuts the word, it gives the impression of foreign determination. "We adapt to technological and demagogic change and are an active player in globalization". It's good. Hannes senses that it is right to communicate such happy messages personally.

The speech is to be enriched with a few well-meaning adjectives such as 'sustainable', 'result-oriented', 'stage-right', 'win-win', 'optimized', 'slender' and indispensable nouns such as 'state-of-the-art' , 'Civilization', 'thought-provoking'.

To symbolize cohesion

Overview

If we set a consistent framework motto, Hannes thinks, the mood this afternoon will top that of the anniversary event. Hannes is thinking. "Fit for future", that sounds good. Abbreviated with 'fi-fo-fu', it looks cosmopolitan with a fitting Asian touch. Hannes, fi-fo-fu'-skewers, who not only promote the cohesion of employees but also symbolize them, serve as appetizers.

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We all fight the same spit, he thought, proud to have found a speech. With these he was normally on war. We are right on the point that it hurts the others and the fattest pieces hang. Hannes is convinced that he lands a rhetorical joke. With fish for, fi, fo fo and fox for fu, he not only finds the appropriate meat ingredients to this culinary-psychological metaphor, but also the symbolic content for the reorientation: fish for adaptation, foals for dynamic, energetic and fast, fox for smart. Hannes is satisfied with himself.

Fi-Fo-Fu or fit-for-future

Overview

The screen says: "Dear Colleagues. I look forward to informing you about our new sustainable strategy for more result-oriented customer proximity. We have a unique opportunity to position ourselves in the streamlined and optimized market with a level-oriented realignment. We adapt to technological and demagogic change and are an active player in globalization. In doing so, we are increasingly focusing on our strengths and our core core businesses. With this state-of-the-art approach, we create a win-win dispute culture that gives us a culture of constant food for thought. Therefore, I am pleased to invite you to fish foals and fox skewers true to our new motto "Fi-Fo-Fu" (fit-for-Future) ".

Hannes looks at the clock - the orientation is going on soon and he has to order the fish. Hopefully, he will get everyone.

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  1. firm-job

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  2. Competencepartner

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  3. REGIS GMBH

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  4. Thomas Eggert

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