With eyes threatening
How we communicate with our eyes also depends on whether we are talking or listening. When listening, the other feels as normal when we look him in the eye - we thereby signal attention, undivided attention to his message.
The situation is different for the person who actively communicates, even speaks. If, as he talks to us, he fixes us, perhaps with his eyes still slightly contracted, without ever taking his eyes off his face, it seems threatening to us. The friendliest words left by this "accompaniment" a bad feeling with us.
Power struggle of the eyes
It is therefore normal to occasionally turn your gaze aside during the active conversation. Only those who want to lend particular emphasis to his words, who "penetrates" his counterpart even with his eyes, wants to hypnotize it as it were. Unfortunately, he does not always achieve the desired effect.
After a few minutes, the listener can only concentrate on the power struggle of the eyes and no longer perceive the content of the words. Who will lose, who will turn the look first?
Blow your nose
A threatening look can not only be supported by the contracted eye area. A typical "threatening look" is also caused by pulling up one or both eyebrows. So that the eyes are not opened too far (which would symbolize a more open facial expression), you pull the Oberlider down a bit.
So that the other does not disappear from the direct view-field of fire, the head is lifted slightly. This creates the typical "teacher's view": condescending, instructive, correcting.
Rump nose - but right!
Unlike the eyes and mouth, the nose is not very "expressive". Nevertheless, or even for that reason, even the shortest nose saps are very clearly and mostly consciously registered by the other person.
A short hull of the nose is a clear sign of displeasure. "That stinks me!" The small changes in the eyes, however, are perceived only unconsciously.
Of the three monkeys
When we listen and are skeptical about the matter we have received, we like to hide behind a wall of protection. If we have no files at the desk in front of us, our hands have to fulfill this function.
The fingers are intertwined and the thumbs set up for a sharp "weir roof", we feel much more comfortable. The other one can talk quietly, his own defense is built up. He will not penetrate our bulwark so fast.
The hand as a protective barrier for the face
The hand also serves as a protective barrier for our face. Not only the famous three monkeys hold their eyes, ears and mouth shut, through one or the other gesture we try again and again to protect our senses from too much information from the outside.
Even if we prefer to hold back the words we are saying, we may put our hands over our mouths for a moment. In case of a lie or insecurity we like to grab our noses - is it getting longer, like the unfortunate Pinocchio? All these little ones gestures Defense or defense in conversation express in the conversation.
Anyone who gesticulates expansively with supposedly open arms seems dynamic and extroverted. However, if the palms are directed almost exclusively inwards, ie toward one's own body, then one would rather protect oneself from too much something new.
The openness is deceptive - he does not let anything and anyone approach him so quickly! The crossed arms in front of the chest can also express this inner defense.
Beware of misinterpretation
But at this point we would like to introduce a fundamental consideration for the interpretation of our body language: Not every one of our gestures can be easily and clearly translated. Every movement of our body is due to some stimulus.
This stimulus can come from the outside or from the inside. Feelings and unpleasant messages can be such stimuli. So if we get a bad message and cross our arms over our chest, it's clearly a defense gesture, an emotional safeguard.
More knowledge - Podcast, PDF download, eCourse or personal advice
Offline download: Download this text as PDF - Read usage rights, Because we do not automatically submit the title of this text for privacy reasons: When buying in "interests" the title register if support is needed. After buying text exclusively Download at this URL (please save).
Listen to Podcast & Download MP3: You can listen to this text for free, as member even without annoying popup, or download the MP3 for a fee - Read usage rights, After the purchase page refresh, then you will find the download link here. Because we do not automatically submit the title of this podcast for privacy reasons: When buying in "interests" the title register if support is needed.
Your eCourse on Demand: Choose your personal eCourse on this or another desired topic, As a PDF download. Up to 30 lessons with each 4 learning task + final lesson. Please enter the title under "interests". Alternatively, we are happy to put together your course for you or offer you a personal regular eMailCourse including supervision and certificate - all further information!
Consultant packages: You want to increase your reach or address applicants as an employer? For these and other topics we offer special Consultant packages (overview) - For example, a personal phone call (price is per hour).