Body language: keep aloof!



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Reprint: This text is from the book "Die Macht der versteckten Signale: Wortwahl - Körpersprache - Emotionen. Nonverbale Widerstände erkennen und überwinden (2014)""" from Dr. Gabriele Cerwinka, Gabriele Schranz, published at Linde Verlag, and was left to us for reprint.
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Just as the lips reshape our letters, our eyes and hands also emphasize our speech by their movements. What we mean, we dress not only in words, but also in looks and gestures, And we show, for example, clearly: keep me from the body.

Body language: keep aloof! distance

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Here writes for you: Gabriele Schranz is a shareholder of Schranz and Cerwinka OEG; Vienna - Zurich. Profile
Here writes for you: Dr. Gabriele Cerwinka is a shareholder of Schranz and Cerwinka OEG. Profile

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With eyes threatening

Overview

How we communicate with our eyes also depends on whether we are talking or listening. When listening, the other feels as normal when we look him in the eye - we thereby signal attention, undivided attention to his message.

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The situation is different for the person who actively communicates, even speaks. If, as he talks to us, he fixes us, perhaps with his eyes still slightly contracted, without ever taking his eyes off his face, it seems threatening to us. The friendliest words left by this "accompaniment" a bad feeling with us.

Power struggle of the eyes

Overview

It is therefore normal to occasionally turn your gaze aside during the active conversation. Only those who want to lend particular emphasis to his words, who "penetrates" his counterpart even with his eyes, wants to hypnotize it as it were. Unfortunately, he does not always achieve the desired effect.

After a few minutes, the listener can only concentrate on the power struggle of the eyes and no longer perceive the content of the words. Who will lose, who will turn the look first?

Blow your nose

Overview

A threatening look can not only be supported by the contracted eye area. A typical "threatening look" is also caused by pulling up one or both eyebrows. So that the eyes are not opened too far (which would symbolize a more open facial expression), you pull the Oberlider down a bit.

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So that the other does not disappear from the direct view-field of fire, the head is lifted slightly. This creates the typical "teacher's view": condescending, instructive, correcting.

Rump nose - but right!

Overview

Unlike the eyes and mouth, the nose is not very "expressive". Nevertheless, or even for that reason, even the shortest nose saps are very clearly and mostly consciously registered by the other person.

A short hull of the nose is a clear sign of displeasure. "That stinks me!" The small changes in the eyes, however, are perceived only unconsciously.

Of the three monkeys

Overview

When we listen and are skeptical about the matter we have received, we like to hide behind a wall of protection. If we have no files at the desk in front of us, our hands have to fulfill this function.

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The fingers are intertwined and the thumbs set up for a sharp "weir roof", we feel much more comfortable. The other one can talk quietly, his own defense is built up. He will not penetrate our bulwark so fast.

The hand as a protective barrier for the face

Overview

The hand also serves as a protective barrier for our face. Not only the famous three monkeys hold their eyes, ears and mouth shut, through one or the other gesture we try again and again to protect our senses from too much information from the outside.

Even if we prefer to hold back the words we are saying, we may put our hands over our mouths for a moment. In case of a lie or insecurity we like to grab our noses - is it getting longer, like the unfortunate Pinocchio? All these little ones gestures Defense or defense in conversation express in the conversation.

Internal defense

Overview

Anyone who gesticulates expansively with supposedly open arms seems dynamic and extroverted. However, if the palms are directed almost exclusively inwards, ie toward one's own body, then one would rather protect oneself from too much something new.

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The openness is deceptive - he does not let anything and nobody approach him so quickly! The crossed arms in front of the chest can also express this inner defense.

Beware of misinterpretation

Overview

But at this point we would like to introduce a fundamental consideration for the interpretation of our body language: Not every one of our gestures can be translated easily and clearly. Every movement of our body is due to some stimulus.

This stimulus can come from the outside or from the inside. Feelings and unpleasant messages can be such stimuli. So if we get a bad message and cross our arms over our chest, it's clearly a defense gesture, an emotional safeguard.

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