From the author:
From the Sense and nonsense of self-adulation
If you want to continue climbing the career ladder, you have to protect yourself “downwards”, always defend your position and make sure that you always present yourself in the direction of “number 1” - regardless of losses. Often enough, the prodigy or the power woman in the group does not boast of their own ideas, but rather with those that have already been expressed in the meeting, not just addressed to the decision-maker, but communicated to the group in a way that keeps them connected.
The latter is typical of highly sensitive people - whether women or men. Highly sensitive people often find their way through the typical cockfighting fight of the business world only gradually. Without realizing that they have particular challenges and strengths, many fine tuners take a long time to understand how the masculine type of communication works - namely, order-oriented. Knowing this difference in communication behavior is worth the price of gold and marks the first step on a wonderful journey towards a delicate handling of meeting situations.
Highly sensitive targeted communication in meetings
Highly sensitive people communicate differently and that's a good thing. Because they can use their skills to lead the group to the goal. And regardless of where they are in the ranking. They get to know what is said between the lines, feel the moods in the room and it is not hidden to them, if someone is lying, something is beautiful or the show is more important than the result. For highly sensitive job starters or those who are not aware of their highly sensitive strengths, this differentiated perception can be disturbing and lead to withdrawal.
Or an offensive, which is not welcome: Young, fair-minded people are trying to bring their values into play by openly addressing grievances. Usually, they quickly get to know that this is not desired. To expose others and to put a finger on the wound is rarely a job that brings much recognition.
Rock in the surf
But it is also different. Highly sensitive people can learn to lead important and crucial meetings and lead them to the goal - not by self-presentation or too much openness but by questions.
One who does the same thing reports: “What is played back to me after the meetings makes me very happy. I am referred to as “rock in the surf” and from the point of view of the participants I ensure a lot of rest because I take the excitement out. Good results can be achieved quickly. In meetings, with my increased awareness, I can consciously concentrate on what is not being said, and so I can very well steer towards solutions - a role that I specifically and happily play today. ”
The “wise” advisers
Meetings say a lot about the culture of communication that prevails in our society. But it also shows something else: Especially highly sensitive men maintain different communication patterns than those of the male mainstream. They do not take part in the daily battle for the rankings among loud peacocks, who proudly put their bikes on show and do not even notice that with so much inflated show there is hardly any time or energy for the really important topics. Between all the wrangling on the “hard” side and shaking your head on the “tender” there is good news: Those who are aware of their sensitive strengths have what it takes to partially take the lead and represent the company's goals, and for the good of everyone and without anyone having to fight him.
In this respect, we could actually choose the image of a “wise advisor” to describe what highly sensitive people can do in business and society. And no, this picture is not for degrading other people. Rather, it is about recognizing that it is good and right, that not all people are the same and that it makes perfect sense to use different skills instead of tackling them. Sooner or later, even the most sensitive people will have to admit that it is very practical if, in some places in companies and society, people easily extend their elbows and pragmatically take the lead. Because it takes a whole range of skills to find really good solutions.
Small talk with draft
Whether it is a canteen, a company party, a campus or a network event, anyone who is highly sensitive has started to find out why the others have been able to talk about superficial things from their point of view. While the highly sensitive group is still thinking about what it wants to contribute to the current conversation, the others have long since moved on to the next topic. For many HSPs, Small Talk is a letter with seven seals.
And yet they can be reconciled with the small talk. Instead of looking at it as a waste of time, dealing with and avoiding small talk situations, profound multipliers and end-users can simply accept that they have profound needs because of their constitution in conversations. If you stand up against something like a stubborn ox, you remain passive, so you may find the way to get involved with others and bring in your own way.
Because even in the small talk it is possible to take the tax into the hands and actively to cut themes, which are not quite so superficial. When high sensibility moves out of the pressure position and enters into the active role, they can also show others that it is not dangerous to go deep, but can be very enriching.
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German edition: ISBN 9783965961883
English version: ISBN 9783965961890 (Translation notice)
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