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Prof. Dr. Patrick Geus is Vice Rector of the IUBH Campus Programs. He is also in charge of the marketing program for both the dual and the master’s program for distance learning at the IUBH. His research focuses on brand management and communication All texts from Professor Dr Christian-Rainer Weisbach.

Optimally give employee feedback & lead dialogue: Get out of the terror of questions

It means who asks leads. But if you get your counterpart to speak without asking, you will come across Objective. Because most people tend to answer questions in such a way that they are in a good light with the answer, direct questions do not prove to be very effective.
Make others speak

What really bring questions?

It is indeed a widespread view to keep people more intelligent, the faster, more persistent, more versatile and tireless they ask questions,

How do you feel if, for example, you hesitate about a decision and are suddenly asked: “Are you unsure?” Is it easy for you to admit that you are unsure? Who wants to admit that they are undecided? The prompt answer is more like: “No, not at all. I'm just thinking. "

Non-responsive answers

Or how do you respond when you are directly asked about your feelings? For example: “Are you worried?”, “Are you overworked?” Or “Are you angry now?” Without thinking too much, most people provide a rational explanation in the style of: “No, not at all, I just have different ones Options compared. "

That sounds conclusive and is meaningless, because it does not mention what they were thinking about or which options were compared.

Question-free communication leads to real knowledge

Contrary to a long-standing tradition of expanding the questioning techniques more and more differentiated, this method assumes a totally different self-understanding: to make the conversation partner unsolicited, usually leads to findings that are not openly expressed by any question so clever.

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Because many people shy away from addressing emotions such as doubt, hesitation and indecisiveness, or worries, concerns and fears, etc., the question-free style stands out from the dire, narrowing question maneuvers, which have more similarity to an interrogation than with an appreciative one Talk.

Always ask yourself if your counterpart is really open for a real dialogue

In quintessence, this means that questions are only relevant if the respondent is willing and open to address them. If this condition is not met, questions - and yet so differentiated - are always associated with the risk of provoking responses that sound socially desirable.

If you keep this in mind, you will pause before each of your questions to reflect on how willing and open-minded your counterpart will be. You will discover that you can do without three quarters of your questions, because the basic prerequisite for real dialogue is not at all.

Acceptance as a key for open communication

This method not only promotes the willingness to talk in the simple exchange of information, it also shows its special effect in the response of feelings. If you speak openly, what you just notice by the other side, you show resonance, that is, you are receptive to its sensations.

The brief “Are you unsure?” Becomes a longer sentence: “I have the impression that you are still undecided. Perhaps my explanations were confusing. ”However, this procedure only unfolds its full effect if you speak out of an accepting attitude without judgmental undertones. Then your tone of voice has something downright casual.

Mediate normality

By doing so, you convey that it is the most normal thing in the world to think or feel like your conversation partner is feeling. This accepting attitude in turn triggers the need to explain oneself. And surprisingly, that does not require any questions.

Only the naturalness with which you make a statement makes them something normal and natural. This contributes to relaxation and relief, but shows your tone that you remain completely calm and relaxed and find in what the other says, nothing special or unusual.

Interestingly enough, most people are more likely to spontaneously continue to do so than to have a question possible. After all, answering questions is always accompanied by an automatic control mechanism, in which the respondent also asks whether and to what extent the answer is suitable for leaving him in a good light or being socially desirable.

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