Help, a communication gradient
Mrs. Beermann came to me, because she found the working relationship with her longtime supervisor very problematic and stressful and wanted to find out for herself whether she was in Company stay or rather quit.
When we began to analyze the communication between Mrs Beermann and her superiors, I noticed that there seemed to be a considerable difference between the two.
Reacting like a toddler?
Ms Beermann described the communication style of her superiors as arrogant and effeminate. At the same time, their reaction seemed to me to be like a child's.
And these childish responses - from my perception - were presented in two different versions.
Between defensive and anger
Depending on the context and the current form of the two women, Ms. Beermann took either the position of a defensive or the position of an aggressive child.
In the one part, she felt herself helpless, helpless, and totally overwhelmed, in the other she could hardly restrain the anger, and in an extreme case also become insulting and unsuitable.
When adults return to childhood
Both strategies seemed rather unfavorable for the working world - to put it mildly. It was not until Mrs. Beermann became aware that the problem might not have been with her superiors, but with her own, less adult reactions, that the way was clear for decisive change.
Perhaps you also know situations in which adult human beings return to their own childhood within a very short period of time.
From child-I to adult-I
As with Mrs. Beermann and her superiors. The two had established a sophisticated communication game between themselves. Whenever the supervisor said something to Mrs. Beermann, what was perceived by him as communication from the "parent-ego", she completed the game by taking on the role of the "child-ego".
Who started the game from both was subordinate, because when Mrs. Beermann learned, instead of out of the "child-ego" out of an "adult-self" to communicate with her superiors, the working relationship improved significantly.
Offline download: Download this text as PDF - Read usage rights, Because we do not automatically submit the title of this text for privacy reasons: When buying in "interests" the title register if support is needed. After buying text exclusively Download at this URL (please save).
Listen to Podcast & Download MP3: You can listen to this text for free, as member even without annoying popup, or download the MP3 for a fee - Read usage rights, After the purchase page refresh, then you will find the download link here. Because we do not automatically submit the title of this podcast for privacy reasons: When buying in "interests" the title register if support is needed.
Your eCourse on Demand: Choose your personal eCourse on this or another desired topic, As a PDF download. Up to 30 lessons with each 4 learning task + final lesson. Please enter the title under "interests". Alternatively, we are happy to put together your course for you or offer you a personal regular eMailCourse including supervision and certificate - all further information!
Consultant packages: You want to increase your reach or address applicants as an employer? For these and other topics we offer special Consultant packages (overview) - For example, a personal phone call (price is per hour).