Body language communication and power: men vs. women


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Text comes from: Körpersprache für Frauen: Sicher und selbstbewusst auftreten (2012) by Dr. Cornelia Topf, published by Münchener Verlagsgruppe (MVG), Reprints by friendly permission of the publisher.
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Body language has more influence on our competent effect than many are fond of. And in the struggle for power, men and women unfortunately play different rules.

Body language communication and power: men vs. women


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Dr. Cornelia Topf Dr. Cornelia TopfDr. Cornelia Topf is a certified business coach and international management trainer.

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Men make career, women family?

Women still have a hard time in the male world we live in. Men make a career, women make family, says a bad spell. A look at the statistics confirms this sentence.

  1. Women do not even take 5 percent of the top positions in the economy.
  2. When three women and one man apply for a job, in many cases, paradoxically, the man is taken.
  3. With equal qualification of applicants, the man is preferably promoted.
  4. In meetings, men's suggestions are heard and followed more often.
  5. If there are debates in the Team usually agrees on the suggestion of a colleague.
  6. If a man and a woman do the same, the man gets more recognition (and salary) for it.

A question of confidence

Because women have the worse ideas, less afford? No, mostly the opposite. Why then? One of the most common answers to this question: "Because men are pigs." It may be - but what does the man say?

If you ask HR managers and department heads why they took the man and not the woman or promoted them to become a key account manager or project manager, the answer is strikingly often: “Ms. Müller is undoubtedly very competent. But I just don't trust her to do this job (job, project, customer ...). ”Why on earth not? Let's open our eyes.

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The woman as a secretary

Imagine two colleagues in the interview, one decided and wide-legged, the other shy and withdrawn. Now listen to your stomach. What does he say? Now imagine, you are the chief purchaser of a mechanical engineering company and you have to choose your account manager for the construction of a special facility. Listen to your stomach. Who chooses from both candidates? The answer is clear. Some seminar participants answer to the question also: "Of course the man - and not his secretary!"

Incidentally, this happens constantly in practice: The woman is automatically regarded as the secretary, assistant or employee of the husband, even if she is equal or even superior! This is not because of how gladly accepted that our society still has not gotten used to the fact that a woman is superior to the man accompanying her. This is due to something quite different: this is not due to a hidden female urge to masochism, but the Tootsie effect.

Women work differently

Women act differently than men because they act differently than men. Cinema hits like "Some like it hot", "A cage full of fools", "Victor-Victoria", "Charly's aunt", "Tootsie" or "Mrs. Doubtfire, the prickly nanny, "grazes this difference.

In the movie, it looks funny when Dustin Hoffmann throws both hands in the air, rolling his eyes and screaming in a high voice: "You old Lüstling!" What is so funny about it? Obviously, the female body language. Of course, this language is grossly oversubscribed in the film. But what's funny in the movie is simply discriminatory in real life.

Women are discriminated against because of their body language

Women are not discriminated against because they are women, but mainly because they speak a different body language. That it is not gender but body language that is to blame, we are amazed to see that even men are discriminated against as and when they adapt female body language. A prime example for those who can still remember is Stan Laurel from "Dick and Doof". He played the doof.

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Why stupid? Because his complete body language repertoire was borrowed from female body language. The fat man was much stupider, fell more often, and often got a punch on his nose - but he seemed much more competent, intelligent and strong. Because he spoke a different body language. Just typical man: Falls more often on the nose, but comes on better!

A certificate of approval for our society

Women are discriminated against because they speak the "wrong" body language Of course this is unfair. Of course it is an indictment of any society that it measures a person's competence in how high he speaks, how he crosses his arms, or how tightly he wraps his legs around the chair legs when sitting. If a society is so narrow-minded as to fall for such superficial signals, then its Pisa study, all-day school, can no longer be best served.

But as long as you live in this society, you have only one choice: you accept the stupid rules of the game and win in the game - or you do not play along. But what comes out, you know now only too well. That's why you hold this book in your hands. Because you no longer want to be offside. Because you want to shake off the Tootsie effect. Shake!


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